Kitties in Diapers Aidan's blog

Dynamics of Being Around Attractive Women in College

A couple weeks ago I was bored late in the evening and being annoyed over a couple weeks of run bad (which is breakeven for us Bodog players) which gets one thinking. What would life be like if I had a “normal” job? Things would be kinda cool. I'd get to do office pranks on my co-workers, chat about how bad the Oilers are beside the water cooler, creep on the staff, and become overly drunk guy at the staff Christmas party.

But Batshyt, what the hell would you do for work? Good question, Batshyt. I don't know. This prompted me to scan school programs in Alberta. If AriGoldjr and CrapsDegen are going back to school, I should sign up for that shit too. Fitting in is the cool thing to do right? One can only take so many fag insults for wearing a scarf.

Unfortunately, I can't stand the idea that Canada is one of the most prosperous countries in the world and we as citizens have to pay enormous sums of money for education. Thanks to our conservative government and decades of American capitalism propaganda rubbing off on us Canadians.

No interest was sparked after browsing through hundreds of courses available. Except for the marketing programs. Which reminded me that I'm two classes away from graduating from a two year business admin course. Looked up what I had left: a finance course and a marketing elective. Boom registered!

After trying to figure out what hip kids bring to school these days, I attended my first two evening classes. I was worried that I wouldn't have any motivation to attend. Which translates directly to:  are there any girls in the class I find attractive.

Here are some questions that I'm faced with.

• Will I ever wear the same thing twice?

Highly unlikely. Although, memory has been foggier than ever. Especially, with DrPow1 living in Edmonton.

• Will I do my home work?

Absolutely, hot chicks are typically dumb. However, they are smart enough to realize that we are all superficial in one way or another and most men are superficial when it comes to beauty. So minimal effort is needed on their part to get by. So when they ask a question, you damn well better have an answer or a witty response to lower their self-esteem. Science. With all that said, I bet the line is +300 that I do my home work.

• What will my attendance be?

Perfect. Duh. Something to actually achieve. Fuck the goal of graduating, we got ladies to woooooooooo. woooooooooo . wooooooooooo. Ugh, wooo girls are the worst. However, nearly all girls are wooo girls. It just depends on how many drinks it takes them to become woo girls. I'll explain this in more detail in a future post. No big deal.

• How will this change group projects?

Ugh. No matter what, group projects lose. However, group projects with hot babes will be like Christmas. Getting gifts but having to deal with Christianity. Bittersweet shit. I just hope Mrs  Claus is a spinner.

• Will this change what I bring for snacks?

Fuck yes, Bitches love snacks. I'm going to be the god damn Iron Chef of snack food in my class. Nori veggie rolls with chop sticks, hummus dip, bruschetta, chocolate fondue machine, etc. Ill even leave on the stickers on my fruits and angle it strategically so she can see it's organic. I think I'm going to label myself as the Pretentious Snack Food Guy.

Oh and it turns out that bringing a lazer pointer to class was NOT a hip thing to do.

Nothin but love.

The Karma Bitch Slap

Every Saturday Pawnshop hosts an event called Transmission Saturdays where they have some DJ's that spin mostly Indie Rock and New Wave tunes, which is completely up my alley. It's moderately busy and attracts a good crowd that spends the majority of the time jumping around on a dance floor that shakes. Makes ya feel like you're on a boat. It's great.

Nicole and I hit it up. We arrive and start busting some moves having a splendid time. However, it was slightly awkward due to the fact that there is a massive projected screen that is slide-showing pictures that have been previously shot at past events. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except that I made the damn screen like twenty times. There was three different pictures that were rotating through. Except the rotation was terribly random. I felt like a typical live poker player saying that online poker is rigged. Except I'm the one saying that this damn random generated slide show is rigged to boost my ego.The night gets interesting when a rather attractive young lady points at me and says, “I know you.” This is where my self-admiration becomes a god damn rocket launcher.

I point back Travolta style, mid dance with a solid Thumper tap and head bop going on and respond with “Bullshit”

Lady, actually let's call her freckles because I forget her name replies, “Yeah, I do! I remember you. You have shopped at blank blank clothing store."

* * * *

I “accidentally” (sick play dawg!) bump into her on the dance floor, she turns and does a little foxtrot my way. End up getting into a conversation, exchange names, typical time wasting stuff. Then I turned  her around to put my back to the projection screen and commented, “I can't stand facing that screen...I keep seeing myself up there.”

I'm not exactly sure what she responded with but this is what I heard, “that's....something fine blah, because you are fucking gorgeous.”

Obviously, I assumed I miss heard this. I mean..... I get that all the time. No big deal. I says, “pardon?"

She comes closer, and this is the exact moment I realized she has freckles. Dark hair and freckles, oh baby. She replies, “I just think you're are really, really good looking.”

I'm slightly dumbfounded and responded with something lame. Kinda forget, I was in a daze of bliss. If I was texting I probably would have used the ridiculous teenage girl message “OMFG :0 ” and probably clap at the same time while hopping.

We chat some more blah blah blah. Part 1 of story over.

Part 2. Drunk girls love extras. Especially, when rocking out. Whether it be hats, manslets, scarfs, necklaces etc. I was wearing a hat and this slightly obnoxious friend of a friend kept trying to remove it from its home. I kept dodging those fingers coming at my face and next thing you know I get jammed in the eye. I felt it squish. I felt it scrap. I felt it pop. I felt pain. Eww.

The positive side of this catastrophe is no one tried to steal my hat anymore. The downside is now I have to deal with people apologizing. I never want to hear someone apologize more than once. Drop the sorreh and let it be. Fuck the, “ooooh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to stab you in the eye because I really wanted to wear your hat. I don't know how it happened, ya know, while I was swinging my hands and fingers at your face. I'm so sorry." God. Stop. Talking.

Even though my eye was throbbing, the pain was non existent due to being fucking gorgeous. I felt like Jesus, ya know, how he was carrying that cross while being hwhipped. Whip. Hwhip. Whip. I'm saying hwhip. He couldn't feel shit, his ego was so massive at that moment. People cheering him on, feeding him, giving him wine. Respect the ego, yo.

I decided to bounce on that poke...note and on the walk to my car I spotted a girl who I've been lightly crushing on that works at blah blah. She has always been overly flirty, potentially to sell me more shit or because she thinks I'm fucking gorgeous. Naturally I assume the latter.

She was with a friend who also works at blah blah. They recognized me and we start getting into some good conversation that mostly consists of being poked in the eye by drunk bitches. I assumed this girl was on the younger side, turns out she is in the second bar of the “Age of Interest” graph a few posts lower. Also, I've never seen her not behind a counter and had an epiphany.

She is a perfect spinner, completely balanced. One of those spinners where you can give a slight flick and will spin upright for an hour. Those girls live in a frictionless centripetal world, where gravity doesn't apply.  <--- I just blew your mind with some science. Admit it.

So obviously after this epiphany and my psyche at an all time high I went for the number while exiting the conversation.She responded, “ummm, you know where to find me”

Which translates:  you know where to find me to buy more shit that is unnecessary.

And that my friends is The Karma Bitch Slap.

Credit to Zoe for coining the phrase “The Karma Bitch Slap”

PS: Kudos to Nicole for waking up in the box of Miriam's truck at 6:00am.

Kitties in Diapers Under Attack

Kitties in Diapers was attacked maliciously by hackers, most likely hackers that were paid by women, from their husbands accounts. Kidding. I don't know why I attack women in my blog posts, easy targets I guess. Or simply that it's ironic since a good majority of my friends are ladies. God bless them bitches.

Anyways, so yeah, ajw.ca went down due to a corrupt database. Which was quite deflating because there was a chance everything was lost for good. I contacted my hosting service and they were able to restore it, for a small fee. Which is absolutely ridiculous since it is their fault nearly always. With the help of them and my programmer Furrykef my site is back up. I don't know if people could carry on using the internet without my presence lurking in google.

The only thing that is lost are the recent comments. Which sucks. So if you would like to see your comments back you'll have to do them all over again. My apologies.

I should have a couple new blog posts in the next few weeks. Also, should get some good material down in Chicago and ripping up Lollapoloza with Drew ThugMoney Kuefler.

Nottin but Love.

Wanted: Aidan Batshyt, Guilty of Osculation

It has been brought to my attention that I have a very dangerous habit. A habit so dangerous that fathers and husbands may need to lock up their daughters and wives. As Aidan Batshyt is running loose, terrorizing red heads and woo girls across Edmonton's grid.

Batshyt is not Batman, he is more so, Waldo. Often blended in amongst the hipster arms race, that is Whyte Avenue.(source: Drew Kuefler) From ascots to scarves, scarves to fedora's, fedora's to Toms, Toms to skinny jeans, skinny jeans to fake glasses. LOOK OUT. He must be contained!

Below is the message I received out of the blue by some super hero boyfriend that I obviously had no idea existed.  I feel I need the public to be aware that I have a dannnnnnnnnngerous habit. Whata joke.

So you just googled your name eh?

So you just decided to google your name, eh? And ended up on my useless blog, welcome. I'm not sure why you decided to search your own name... maybe it was for self validation, looking for purpose, a reason to keep living if you will, or you're worried about your ex boyfriend leaking that home made porno. If none of the above applies, I'm sure you're a guy looking to see if anyone else has seen your home made porno. Blah, enough about porn, my mom probably googles my name ffs.

Below is what I imagine these weirdos were doing before they decided to google themselves.

Ian Broen - Secretly playing Travian while looking through the eyes of "the devil" reminiscing the death of Johnny Cash.

Miriam Kluczny - Studying Flemish as she trying to fall asleep in the backseat of her pick up.

Drew Kuefler - breaking into other peoples houses, mine, auggies, and thinking that every woman is beautiful.

Payton Stockman - working on his raps.

Zoe Wagner - obviously showing off her green vest and reciting horton hears a who.

Joseph Falchetti - enjoying every minute of Entourage.

Nicole Bansley - degrading women.

Stephanie Wright - watching Japanese youtube videos

Mike Vikse - playing tetris

Aaron Hymes - watching a romcom.

Jackson Anderson - singing Run to the Hills

Julian Charles - talking to bob.

Lindsay Koehli - hand feeding a one eyed dog.

Carbon Poker Penalty

Nothing really has progressed business wise since the launch of Bonus Casino Poker, in which Jim and I partnered with an Aussie friend. The site is well and picking up some serps and it's consistently being added with new content regularly.  The three of us should have a couple of new websites live within a months time and I will certainly blog about.

Jim and I have caught a huge break with a couple of our mini sites that currently rank number one on google for Carbon Poker. I'm sure it won't last long, but we are quite pumped about the substantial increase in our MGR that we're receiving . I haven't looked into why Carbon Poker received a -50 penalty, but it must certainly be costing them a pretty penny not ranking number one for their own domain name. Although, for now we most definitely are blessed with our current ranking!

In other exciting news, Jeremy Enke has left CAP/PAP and has launched a new private affiliate program forum website and will have full control over it, something he lacked with Pokeraffiliateprograms.com (PAP). I will most likely be posting a lot more at his new forum, since it won't be nearly as monetized as PAP and won't endorse shady programs that include: BetUS.com, Absolute Poker, Ultimate Bet, etc. So yeah, here is some props JE and the forums can be found at pokeraffiliatelistings.com. You'll have to be personally invited to join the forum, as it is private. If you're an affiliate shoot me an email and I can invite you to join.

BTW, if anyone is not watching Califorincation (unless you are my mom),  you must start watching this show as it is the best program on television!

Trip to the Rockies

One awesome thing about working for yourself, as nearly all affiliates will say is the fact that you can say F it! and go where ever you want, when ever you want. Here are some pictures of when Natalie and I went to the Rocky Mountains about a month ago.

New Affiliate Site

Well, I'm all moved into the house, and it is absolutely fantastic. It already feels like home and did not take long at all to get comfortable in. The house warming party also had an excellent turn out with a lot of liquid being consumed by everyone. I'm pretty lazy but I'll attempt to put up some pictures soon.

Business wise Jim and I launched a new site with an Australian marketer. Check out the site at BonusCasinoPoker.com. The three of us are also in the process of launching three other sites that should be launched shortly.

Update

It sure has been a long time sine I've posted on the blog and a ton has changed with me! First off I bought a house and will be moving in this upcoming Friday. I'll likely post some pictures of the new place. Other than that I have been enjoying the summer and getting out a ton.

My business partner and I have been doing a lot of work and have sold one of our best sites that had low maintenance that provided decent monthly revenue. We are looking at replacing that lost income using the newly acquired capital and investing in building several mini-sites targeting specific online poker rooms. We also sold another site that we never had the proper time or ideas to monetize the site. Hopefully the new owners can make it more successful than we did.

I'll report soon after the big move.