Kitties in Diapers Aidan's blog

Dynamics of Being Around Attractive Women in College

A couple weeks ago I was bored late in the evening and being annoyed over a couple weeks of run bad (which is breakeven for us Bodog players) which gets one thinking. What would life be like if I had a “normal” job? Things would be kinda cool. I'd get to do office pranks on my co-workers, chat about how bad the Oilers are beside the water cooler, creep on the staff, and become overly drunk guy at the staff Christmas party.

But Batshyt, what the hell would you do for work? Good question, Batshyt. I don't know. This prompted me to scan school programs in Alberta. If AriGoldjr and CrapsDegen are going back to school, I should sign up for that shit too. Fitting in is the cool thing to do right? One can only take so many fag insults for wearing a scarf.

Unfortunately, I can't stand the idea that Canada is one of the most prosperous countries in the world and we as citizens have to pay enormous sums of money for education. Thanks to our conservative government and decades of American capitalism propaganda rubbing off on us Canadians.

No interest was sparked after browsing through hundreds of courses available. Except for the marketing programs. Which reminded me that I'm two classes away from graduating from a two year business admin course. Looked up what I had left: a finance course and a marketing elective. Boom registered!

After trying to figure out what hip kids bring to school these days, I attended my first two evening classes. I was worried that I wouldn't have any motivation to attend. Which translates directly to:  are there any girls in the class I find attractive.

Here are some questions that I'm faced with.

• Will I ever wear the same thing twice?

Highly unlikely. Although, memory has been foggier than ever. Especially, with DrPow1 living in Edmonton.

• Will I do my home work?

Absolutely, hot chicks are typically dumb. However, they are smart enough to realize that we are all superficial in one way or another and most men are superficial when it comes to beauty. So minimal effort is needed on their part to get by. So when they ask a question, you damn well better have an answer or a witty response to lower their self-esteem. Science. With all that said, I bet the line is +300 that I do my home work.

• What will my attendance be?

Perfect. Duh. Something to actually achieve. Fuck the goal of graduating, we got ladies to woooooooooo. woooooooooo . wooooooooooo. Ugh, wooo girls are the worst. However, nearly all girls are wooo girls. It just depends on how many drinks it takes them to become woo girls. I'll explain this in more detail in a future post. No big deal.

• How will this change group projects?

Ugh. No matter what, group projects lose. However, group projects with hot babes will be like Christmas. Getting gifts but having to deal with Christianity. Bittersweet shit. I just hope Mrs  Claus is a spinner.

• Will this change what I bring for snacks?

Fuck yes, Bitches love snacks. I'm going to be the god damn Iron Chef of snack food in my class. Nori veggie rolls with chop sticks, hummus dip, bruschetta, chocolate fondue machine, etc. Ill even leave on the stickers on my fruits and angle it strategically so she can see it's organic. I think I'm going to label myself as the Pretentious Snack Food Guy.

Oh and it turns out that bringing a lazer pointer to class was NOT a hip thing to do.

Nothin but love.