Kitties in Diapers Aidan's blog

Man Seeking Spinner

It took several years to break free from the “small town” syndrome/mentality that was placed upon me. I was lucky to get away at the ripe age of eighteen, before the culture could suck me dry. It took several years to heal, but I have survived with next to zero hair loss. The disease comes out of remission once and a while and it makes me wonder why I'm not married with children, take vacations to Mexico and have a recreational Cocaine problem at the old age of 26.

Then I give myself a little slap on the face and realize that I'd way rather smoke a bowl,  chew a gram of shrooms or add MDMA to my purple drank and Dance, obviously. Although, a question that is often asked that is gaining more validity is, “Batshyt, when are you finally going to settle with a girl?”

This question is usually responded with a heavy dose of sarcasm, rightfully so. Something on the lines of: I'm Vegan, I don't need others to be happy. Please, I'm 26, I'm content and lazy. I'm a bit of a house wife anyways, I'd rather not have a women in the kitchen because I enjoy cooking and you know what? I don't even mind cleaning even though bitches love that shit. So what is a lady good for? Added stress? Shit, I gotta enough of that when Bodog flicks the doomsday switch after I make a cash out. No thanks.

However, as I mentioned before the topic is gaining validity as I'm nearing my 30's. Even though it's measly societies expectations that one needs to be monogamous.  Without trepidation I decided to post a genuine ad seeking out the perfect woman for me. Kijiji will play cupid with my heart.

26 year old Man Seeking Specified Woman

I'm taking the next step in my life and seeking a girlfriend that meets my criteria. I believe the lady in question should come free of charge, because I'm awesome, but I'm open for negotiation. This is the 2000's and not the 1990's. It isn't Burger King for men anymore, you just can't have it your way. Today's women are like Blacks of the south in the 60s. They have rights and choices now. So you can feel satisfied that you're choosing to be with a man that respects the equality of men and women. I'm pretty much Martin King Luther of chicks, but a dude, a white dude.

Below are charts to demonstrate what I'm seeking. I read a study that women have difficulty reading and that they are more of visual learners. So to lower variance and statistical errors I decided to make charts for you women. Oh I'm rambling now girls, sorry, just consider it science or magic.